Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Breaking free


I did my best to stay calm, friendly and to answer their questions without enthusiasm. I don´t want to be rude in any way. I know the answers to their questions. It was the same questions I was told to ask people as a child. My step dad, aka the meanest person I ever met, was a priest among them. (They don´t call it priests, but that´s what it is.) It´s not like I think all Jehovah´s Witnesses have serious drinking problems and beats their wife´s and children like he did. I´m sure the two ladies that came to my door today had only good intentions BUT it is a cult.

I spent many years of my life trying to break free from them. My “childhood friends” doesn´t talk to me anymore because I choose to not be a part of their cult. That´s all according to their rules. (Some other rules are: don´t celebrate any holidays, don´t have friends that aren´t Jehovah´s Witnesses, don´t take blood transfusions, don´t ask questions..) I knew that before I left them. I actually tried to leave as a teenager but missed my friends so much so I decided to “come back” for a little while and prepare myself mentally to leave them for good. I finally manage to do that after building a new network of friends outside the organization under several years. You have to be extremely strong mentally to leave an organization that continuously trying to control your mind.

I´m proud of the fact that I did manage to leave them. Many of my friends today don´t even know of this. Not because I´m ashamed of it. I moved on. I just don´t want to think or talk about all the years I lost. It brings out so many negative thoughts in my head. Days like today when they come knocking on my door I start thinking a little bit. I´m grateful for my freedom.

6 comments:

  1. Gunilla ZetterströmDecember 13, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    Freedom is the most beautiful thing, I´m so glad we both found it <3

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  2. I'm thankful for your bravery,God Bless and keep you all the days of your life.

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words! /Maria

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  3. Oh my goodness! I'm so glad that you hopped by my blog, CrochetHappy, because I am so thrilled to find yours! I'm a country girl living in the city/town and your blog "takes me back". Your wonderful pictures! This may sound a bit odd..but I love the smell of a horse! There is nothing like it. Thank you for taking me home again.

    TracyAnn of www.crochethappy.com and http://asktracyann.crochethappy.com

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    1. Thank you so much!! I´m really looking forward to get to know you better..and it´s not odd to love the smell of a horse! It´s exactly my language :) I love starting my day by cuddling my face into their soft furr. Best smell in the world!

      xo Maria

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